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Alfred Salteena (Kenny Ireland) is a slightly bumbling gentleman who meets a young lady on a train and invites her to his house in London. She comes to see society and meet young men, and bothers him to go out and meet important people. They travel to see Lord Bernard Clark (John Harding), where Alfred realizes that he is not "high society" enough to win the beautiful social climber Ethel Monticue (Tracey Ullman). Bernard offers to send him to a training school to help gentlemen "improve themselves", while he "entertains" Ethel at his house.